So i guess heres just a small short little Hal fan fic :D randomly typed up on the spot ;)and i'm keeping it clean no swearing :) look how nice im being lol Xx by the one and only ~DamienMolonyArmy
Hal opend his eyes everything a blur. He looked at each of his hands both tied down with belts as he realised he was still in the wooden oak chair he growled slightly and looked up to see Tom leaning against the sofa looking at him. "Sleep well did ya?" Tom said with a faint smile. Hal ignored the question "When are you going to untie me you VILE HOUND!" Hal said pulling at the belts Tom let out a sigh "Not any time soon if thats how ya going to behave" Hal took a breath and hung his head and closed his eyes. "Sorry Tom .... Sorry" He said relaxing.
Tom edged closer just tugging gently at the belts making sure they where still tight but not to tight he nodded to himself "They feel okay?" He said looking down apon Hal. Hal looked up at him "Yes , Thank you." Tom backed away again "Your welcome" He said walking into the kitchen just passing Alex as she padded into the living room leaning against the bar casually she flicked an eye to Hal "You being a good boy?" She said rather jokingly Hal rolled his eyes "Your just as bad as him" He said gestering to the Kitchen where Tom had wonder off to with his head.
-- Edited by Kayla on Friday 13th of July 2012 01:11:05 PM
-- Edited by Kayla on Friday 13th of July 2012 01:12:14 PM
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Anyway, must dash. Friend about to kill lots of people.
As a writer i can say that you need to pay attention to spelling and to grammar (i still fall over on that one myself). Don't forget commas, full stops and such like otherwise a sentence will look and sound like you've taken a deep breath and just blurted it all out. It also helps to set the mood, the atmosphere.
As a reader, it showed real promise and was very nice to read :)
My english teacher bugs me about that as well. I'm terrible at spelling and grammar! My english teacher says and i quote "Your content is great Kayla honestly. But whats marking you down in essays is your spelling and grammar" ..... But thanks Xx
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Anyway, must dash. Friend about to kill lots of people.
It's what readers notice i'm afraid. I'm forever tripping over with my grammar and i left school a loooong time ago LOL and i have to admit spelling is a bit of a bug bear with me, i notice spelling mistakes. I'm my daughter's worst nightmare when she has spelling tests or she has a comprehension test. (she's also forever forgetting to cross her 't's' which also drives me nuts)
But i do agree with your teacher about the great content though, so keep at it :)
My hand writting is actually okay when i take my time. If i'm rushing it's like a 3 year old xD .... i can read okay ... I only mess up because when i read infront of people i get slightly nervouse and then i get a slight lisp and i mess everything up .. sucks :L Xx
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Anyway, must dash. Friend about to kill lots of people.
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good stuff Kayla, hope you continue! 
